Yesterday Was My Birthday

It's not usually a thing I announce to the world, but this year I feel like I need to do a symbolic slate cleaning, and a birthday seems like a good day to start. As a lot of you know, 33 was a pretty tough year for me. Not the hardest but probably top 5...

I had a great conversation with one of my dearest friends, and as only your best friends can do, she called me out. I am relentless. It's not something I wanted to hear, but it was something I needed to hear. I feel like I need to fix EVERYTHING. My hair isn't growing back in all of the spots? Let me take a gazillion supplements and spend hours researching all of the reasons that could be. Something isn't working out for me? Let me first of all blame myself for not being better or good enough and then spin my wheels until I find a hundred different answers and then try to implement all of them. And then I wonder why I'm exhausted all the time...

So, I'm going to write down a few goals here for 34 in the hopes that you will not only hold me accountable but also help me with them if you see me losing my shit. 

1. Have more fun.

While this seems like a frivolous goal for a mom/business owner, I truly believe this is where we ALL go wrong. Life is not just about working! I mean, yes, we need to live and eat and all of that, but big picture is that if we're not having fun, following our passions and connecting with our fellow human beings, then what the hell is our purpose here? And don't even get me started on how messed up our society is when it comes to making moms think that they need to put everyone else's needs ahead of their own.

Action items:

Do one or more of these things per week: paint, throw a BBQ or dinner party, crochet, hike, try a new recipe, go on a date, travel more--even if it's just a day or weekend trip--and actively seek out new activities that will feed my soul!

Start small. Maybe just two hours once a week but keep increasing that number until I'm doing something daily.

2. Learn to delegate + trust.

The Importance of Delegating

I need to hire people to do the shit I'm not good at or don't like doing. The much deeper part of this is to let go of my need to have everything done perfectly. No one is going to do things exactly like me, but maybe I need to find the beauty in that and relax about it. I also need to let go of my idea of scarcity when it comes to money. A lot of my resistance to delegating is that I don't believe I have enough money to pay people to do the things I want done. I need to just trust that the universe will provide.

Action items:

Find someone who can help me with getting the oil changed on my car to cleaning my house to helping set up with Nest events and anything in between.

Tap out my disempowering beliefs about money. [Yes, the website looks cheesy, but tapping has already been extremely helpful in getting me out of my postpartum depression funk.]

Find someone who will take over my soul-sucking social media.

See if Mackenzie has any cancellations so I can get my "trust" tattoo as a constant reminder.

3. Make The Nest a space more conducive to having fun

Dream Art Studio Space

I love my shop, but I don't love the hoarder that I've become. I have this need to save everything. (Another instance where these goals have much deeper psychological implications...) I hate how fast fashion and fast, well everything, has taken over our society so that everything is throwaway. I find myself on the opposite end of the spectrum thinking that surely I can find a way to save and upcycle this fill-in-the-blank. And while I love that part of me, I need to temper it so that it's not so overwhelming. As of right now, I have so many projects in my back room that even if I wanted to start one of them, I couldn't because it's probably buried under something else that needs to be Pinterested too.

Action items:

Get everything ready and set a date on the calendar to have Jasmine Cividino come in and help me KonMari the crap out of the shop.

4. Meditate + Do Yoga

When everything seems to get too hard and when I feel like I don't have the time to do it, that's when I know I need to do these things most. During meditation is when the answers come!

Action items:

Make it a habit to wake up 10 minutes earlier to just meditate. Pick a weekly yoga class and stick to it!


***A little note about a list of goals: my first draft of this sounded awful... clean the store, clean the house, etc. Yes, those are the specifics that certainly need to get done, but it's all about phrasing. If my goal list sounds like a pain in the ass, then I'm not going to want to do it. If you're thinking about doing a goal list, keep that in mind!

Now four goals doesn't sound like a lot for a year, but remember, I'm trying not to overwhelm myself! Plus, these things aren't things that get done overnight. I'll have to wade through a lot of subconscious and psychological stuff to really be able to accomplish these goals. It may even take a lifetime!

In the meantime, call me out if I'm getting crazy or let me know if you need a friend to join you at a cool new art class or want a hiking buddy!